BLOODIED AND DOOMSTRUCT

How An Obama Victory Feels, by Ryan Biracree and Audrey Ference

Like Hannah Montana won the World Series

And with every home run a dying child’s leukemia was cured,

And with every bat of her eyelashes an angel got laid,

And everyone’s boobs grew a size that day;

Every milkshake had a gold bar at the bottom,

And Bloomberg announced that the city will be employing 

1,000 new bikini inspectors this year —

Plus they are getting a raise!

And the Puppy Bowl will now be an entire channel,

And a unicorn and a panda mated, 

And made enough babies for everyone to have one.

And at the end of every rainbow was a gay married couple,

And Santa came every 4th of July.

And every restaurant is now required to give you free guacamole and handjobs but not at the same time,

And it is the law that we all have iPhones,

Plus the iPhones eject candy at the push of a button —

And Buddy Holly came back to life,

The day Hannah Montana won the World Series.

Wow. I am pretty sure that Boing Boing’s self-satisfied Cory Doctorow has finally out-douched himself with this latest post - which combines the douchiest possible tone, subject matter, and photo with the internet’s douchiest blogger.

“I’m pretty tickled by these rock-n-roll yoga tees — yoga’s been doing wonders for my general health, flexibility and back pain (not to mention my state of mind), but I do get a little tired of the sheer hippietrippiness of it all. A little AC/DC homage is just what the guru ordered.”